just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
