people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
