I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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