Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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