I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
