Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
