Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
