We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
