guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
