im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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