i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
