can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
