And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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