My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
