she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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