12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
