he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
