In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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