Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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