What did we do last night that was yellow?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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