You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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