walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
