this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
