I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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