hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
