i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
