Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
