I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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