It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
