why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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