Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
