Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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