You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
