he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I've blown a few things in my day
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
