as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
