You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
