Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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