That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
