I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
