The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
