Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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