He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
