Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I won the penis lottery.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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