do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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