So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My brain says no but my pants say off.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
