Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
