An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
