In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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