we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
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