Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
